Today

Today is one of those days where I am so tired of feeling sick. I am exhausted from trying to keep my stomach under control and I just want to lay in my bed curled up in a ball until it goes away. I have these days and they depress me, they make me feel like I don’t want to try anymore. And they make me feel sorry for myself. Most of the time, I can deal with it and try to remain positive, but there are these days, when I have been sick for months on end, where I just want to give up. My body is tired, I am tired. I want a break from the constant pain and discomfort. The diet helps, the exercise helps, the trying new meds helps, but nothing really takes it away completely.

Living daily with pain is so incredibly draining. I understand how people decide that they don’t want to do it anymore and while I am not to that point, I do worry that as I get older, my symptoms will get worse. I will have more days of pain and I honestly have no idea what this is doing to my body overall. I know that I lack nutrients because so much of what I eat goes straight through me. I also know that my joints hurt, my skin is getting worse and worse, and my level of exhaustion is increasing.

So what do I do? I live with it, I complain here. 🙂 I try to figure out ways to combat it. And I have days like these where I just want to disappear…

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