One Week In…

Well, we’ve been home for 7 days now.  It is both harder and easier than I thought it would be.  The first few days were pretty hard.  Arlie had a really hard time and was acting out a lot.  Plus, my sister came to visit with her husband and son and they ended up taking Arlie with them for a lot of adventures.  This was helpful, but it also resulted in Arlie being really awful for about 48 hours.  She was exhausted while they were here, but when they left and we tried to settle into our new normal, she was really difficult.  Her cousin is exactly one year older than her and he is way less well behaved than her.  I love him, but my sister and I parent very differently and I feel like she picked up some bad habits from him.  It has taken us a couple of days, but I feel like she is back to normal.

Tate is pretty easy.  He is calm and he sleeps a lot right now.  His only real requirements are to be held sometimes, fed when he is hungry, and changed when he is wet or dirty.  He is content being swaddled (with one arm out) and laid down somewhere.  Today is the first day that I am home alone with both kids and it is going ok.  Up until today, someone was always holding Tate because there was always two of us around.  But he seems fine with just being warm and at least in a room with everyone else.

The biggest adjustment so far has been the sleeping situation.  When I got home from the hospital, we sidecared the crib to my side of the bed.  There was still a small gap between the edge of the crib mattress and the bed, so I made the decision to have Arlie in the crib next to me and Tate in the middle of the bed.  The first two nights were a little rough on Arlie but nothing too bad.  She seems to really like having her own space and she is sleeping well again.  M and I are both a little sad about this because we both love cuddling with her so much, but in reality it was going to happen soon anyway.  Hopefully when Tate is a little bigger we can give her the option of coming back into the big bed, or she can stay in her own bed.  She’s doing really well with naps too because we figured out that if we just go upstairs for the naps and have her in either the big bed or her own bed, she falls asleep quickly and stays asleep.

Tate seems much more mellow than Arlie.  The weird thing is that I really thought Arlie was an easy baby, but he is way more laid back than her.  He cries way less than she did and he just seems so much calmer.  The first four nights at home, he slept really well.  The last few nights have been a little rough.  He seems to get more gas at night and is much more cranky about the feedings.  Plus, I have a wicked let down and I think that this pisses him off a little.  I have been pooped on and peed on a few times so far and that has been kind of rough.  Boy parts are a little different and I am learning quickly.  He isn’t a huge fan of having his diaper changed so I have learned to do them at warp speed.  I’m happy that his umbilical cord has fallen off because that is one less thing to worry about.

So overall, it is going ok.  I am tired, that’s for sure.  I would like to be able to sleep about two more hours at night (I feel like this is a reasonable request…  Maybe Tate will acquiesce) but it is no where as bad as it was with Arlie.  I think this has to do with a confidence thing, but also with Tate’s overall demeanor.  I’m no where close to as scared as I was with Arlie.  I remember being completely overwhelmed with Arlie.  Constantly freaking out about everything.  I just don’t have time to freak out this time around.  Plus, I have a much better idea of what is normal and not this time around.

I have 9 weeks of leave left so I am hoping that I can get a good schedule set in the next week or so.  I am also trying to figure out how to successfully go out in public with two kids.  It is way harder than I thought it would be.  I decided against getting a double stroller and I totally regret making that decision.  I ordered one yesterday so hopefully this will combat the difficulty of going out with both of them on my own.  I also need to figure out what my schedule will be for the kids once I go back to work.  I am not comfortable leaving my little man with the baby sitter yet, so I think he will be with my mom most of the time and maybe after the first of the year, he can be on the same schedule as Arlie.  We will see I guess.

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He’s Here!

Mr. Tate Matthew has arrived! And he is perfect.  7 lbs 10 ounces and 19 inches long.

Yesterday I was having a lot of contractions but they weren’t particularly painful, just kind of uncomfortable. I was also losing large chunks of my plug throughout the day.  By the evening, they were getting closer together and were starting to be a bit painful, but nothing too bad. I went about my business and cleaned and got the house all tidy again. At 7 pm, we started our bedtime routine for Arlie. I showered with her and when I got out of the shower, I felt a lot of discharge come out. I wiped it all up and it was quite a bit and it was a bit tinged.  I thought it was a little weird, but figured it was just more plug coming out.  Except it kept coming.  After the fourth time of rushing into the bathroom to clean up, I told M I thought it was maybe my water breaking, but I wasn’t sure.  At around 8, M left to go play a softball game and while he was gone, the contractions picked up. They were consistent and getting stronger. I decided to get Arlie’s bag packed and finished packing my bag.  I texted M at around 9:30 and told him that I thought we were going to have a baby today.

M got home around 10 and we decided to time for another hour and watch some tv. About a half hour into timing I decided to call my parents and let them know that we were probably going to the hospital in the next few hours.  I started timing again and after another hour, the contractions were about 3 to 4 minutes apart. I decided to call my doctor to see what she wanted me to do. She called me back about ten minutes later and said that I should try to stay home for another hour or two. She also let me know that she was only on until 7 am. I told her in would be there in 2 hours and I would be ready to deliver at 7.  I was just joking, but this ended up being the actual case…

I labored at home for another hour and a half and the contractions were getting pretty bad. I got in the shower at 1:45 am and worked through the contractions for a half hour. I woke M up after I got out and told him to get Arlie ready to go. I got all the rest of the bags into the car and called my parents to have them meet us at the emergency room.  The drive from the house to the emergency room took about 10 minutes and it was pretty awful as I was having contractions every 2 minutes. Once we got to the emergency room, I got all checked in ad M, Arlie, and I went upstairs to labor and delivery.  I got changed into the gown and the nurse hooked me up to the monitors. And this is when shit got real.

We checked in at the hospital at 3 am and my parents finally got there to pick up Arlie after about 10 minutes. I was stuck in bed by then because they wanted to monitor me and the baby. Laboring in bed was incredibly uncomfortable. I was gritting my teeth and making a weird animal noise. M tried his hardest to help me, but I was in a tremendous amount of pain. The nurse checked me and I was at 4 cm. I told her I definitely wanted to get an epidural. She let me know that I was the first in line and then she tried to start an iv. Because I was group b strep positive, I needed to have antibiotics 4 hours prior to birth. It took four tries and two different nurses to get my iv started. Shortly after that the anesthesiologist arrived and started that process. It honestly seemed like it took forever but it was actually about a half hour and then I finally felt some relief.

The nurse decided to check me again and she kind of freaked out because I was completely effaced and at 10 cm. Baby’s head was super low too. So the anesthesiologist came back and turned off the epidural. The doctor showed up and they broke down the bed. I practiced for two pushes, then started pushing for real. I shit you not, I pushed about 9 times for less than 10 minutes and Tate was out. There was meconium in the water, but Tate cried as soon as he was out so I got to have immediate skin to skin with him. He was very alert and so perfect. I delivered the placenta about two minutes later. From the time we arrived at the hospital to delivery, only two hours had passed.

I didn’t tear at all and I honestly feel great. The labor was really fast and I am very grateful for that. Tate is amazing and Arlie got to meet him this afternoon. My family is complete. I am content.

What To Expect for an Induction

So my induction date is looming and I am trying to get mentally prepared for it.  I am still hoping that this little guy will decide to come out of there sooner rather than having to be induced.

If I am dilated at all…  I won’t know until the day before my induction is scheduled if I am dilated.  My doctor thinks this is an unnecessary check because even if I am dilated today, it doesn’t really mean anything.  I could stay dilated for another two weeks and not go into labor.  However, if I am dilated at anything past a 1.5, my options open up a bit.  Most doctors start with a cervial dilation medication which can be taken orally or vaginally.  There are typically two options, cytotec, also known as misoprostol.  This is typically taken orally and can take some time to work.  There have been some bad side effects from cytotec so some women choose not to go this route.  I will probably request to have cervidil instead.  Cervidil was created specifically for cervical dilation and is inserted vaginally to ripen the cervix.  It also takes some time for it to work properly, but it is effective in most women.  There is always the possibility that these will not work and at that point, your doctor will either declare a failed induction and send you home to try again in 48 hours, or you will move onto c-section.

Another option if you are dilated a bit is to start with cytotec or cervadil and also introduce a foley bulb into the cervix.  This is a small balloon that is inserted into the cervix and filled with saline.  The pressure from the balloon helps to stretch the cervix to 4 cm.  Once you get to 4 cm, your water can be manually broken and that should kick start labor.

For me, I am expected to check in at 7:30 am and I will have to have one round of antibiotics immediately upon arrival due to the group B strep.  They will start me on cervadil (my request rather than cytotec) and I will basically hang out for a couple of hours.  My doctor would like to insert the foley bulb if I am at 2 cm or more.  She thinks that because my body is already headed in that direction based on my contractions, I will be able to have the bulb inserted pretty soon after I get there.

In addition to the cervadil, I will be given a small dose of pitocin when I arrive.  This is not something I want at all, but I am trying to be open to it.  I had pitocin last time and I think it made my contractions unbearable after 6 hours and that lead to me having to have an epidural.  I was really hoping to go natural this time and I am concerned that with pitocin, I will not be able to do so.

Once I reach 4 cm, the doctor or midwife will determine if my bag of waters is in a location that it is favorable to break.  If so, I will be given the option to have an epidural prior to it being broken.  For now, I have decided not to have the epidural until I really think I need it, if at all.  Last time when they accidentally broke my water, my labor immediately picked up and I was in a lot of pain for the next 4 hours.  I am hoping that if I am already dilated to a 4, I can avoid pitocin or cervadil and just go straight to having my water broken.  In this case, I will try my hardest not to have the epidural.  I feel confident in my body being able to handle labor without the extra medications, but I know that I have little control over the situation.

I am expecting the pain and I am also expecting the process to take some time.  I am really hoping that I am not in the 48 hour club where labor takes forever to start and then is super long after that as well.  I am really hoping that I will go in already dilated and be able to avoid drugs.  I have packed some entertainment, including my kindle so I can watch netflix while I labor.  There wasn’t ever any time with Arlie’s labor to watch television or anything so this may be a moot point.

There is also always the possibility that a c-section will happen.  My hospital has an incredibly low c-seciton rate so I am not as worried about this.  Plus, I can feel that my body is getting ready so this is less of a concern to me.  In the event that I do end up with a c-section, my hospital does not strap your arms down and you are given skin to skin immediately after birth while you are still on the table.  That is a huge relief to me because skin to skin is so important.  The other plus is that M will be able to be there and once the skin to skin is done, he will be able to stay with Tate the whole time.

I am nervous.  I won’t lie about that.  I would obviously still really prefer that he comes out on his own and soon, but I know that I have little to no control over this so I am trying to prepare myself as much as possible.

Things That Annoy Me Right Now/ Things I Love Right Now

Yep, I am annoyed.  And tired and just plain cranky.  You know the days when you seriously feel like your eyes just won’t quite open?  And your whole body feels heavy and gross.  That’s me today.  I just want an all day nap.  I want to lay in my bed with the air conditioner on and ice water readily available to me.  And I want to watch hours of netflix.

So far today the things that are really annoying to me are as follows:

People who drive very slowly.  I am not a speeder.  The most I will go over the speed limit is 5 miles over.  I like rules and I like to follow rules.  But I lose my shit when I am following somebody who is going under the speed limit.  I assume most of the time it is because this person is not paying attention and therefore is driving ridiculously slow.  But I also hate it when I am going the actual speed limit and I have to follow someone who passes multiple signs declaring the actual speed and are still going under.  Kills me.  Especially when I need to be somewhere and I have timed it, but have not taken into account that I will be following people going ridiculously slow.

Related to above… People who ride my ass in a school zone or when I am already going over the speed limit.  These people are equally annoying as the slow drivers.  I’m sorry that I am not willing to go 50 in a school zone and risk hitting a small child.  Yes, please ride the back of my car because I am following the law.  I drive through a school zone every single day and pretty much every day I have some a-hole who apparently thinks that they are not part of the population that should abide by the traffic laws.  What is so hard about going the posted speed limit or slightly above?

People who call or text me to ask if I have had the baby yet.  I collectively want to tell all of these people to F*** off.  I will post on facebook when he is born and until then you can all assume that I am still, in fact, very pregnant and very uncomfortable.  Leave me alone!

I listen to Pandora nearly every day.  I love having Pandora.  However, they insist on playing awful songs mixed in with the stuff I like.  Guess what Pandora…  If I wanted to hear songs by the Eagles I would make an Eagles station and hope for Hotel California to play 30 times in one day.  But I HATE the Eagles (sorry Eagles fans) and it makes me ragey to have to use one of my skips to not have to hear that crap.

People who want to talk to me for an extended period of time about NOTHING.  Despite me blogging while I am at work, I am actually really productive and I get a lot of stuff done while I am here.  I can’t handle the people who make three times as much money as I do and do a quarter (or less) of the work I do and spend their time bugging me about what they did this weekend or how their kid got into whatever college.  I don’t care, go do some actual work.  And along these lines, I seriously want to murder the people who don’t pass on necessary information at work.  I work for an information hoarder.  I find things out after the fact that would have made my work significantly easier.  It’s like he doesn’t ever think that other people are actually doing the work so he should at least try to keep us in the loop.

Things I Love Right Now:

Arlie.  Specifically her little smile.  Her laugh.  Her funny crap she pulls.  The way she gives legitimate hugs now.  Big joyous neck squeezing hugs.  The way she kisses me and M on the lips.  No more open mouth sloppy kisses, these are proper kisses with meaning.  The way she scrunches her face when you ask her if she is doing something bad.  The way she says bye bye.  The way she laughs hysterically when Winger is running around with her.  Pretty much all of her.  I love this kid so much.  She is awesome.  And perfect.

Fresh fruit.  It is finally readily available and I can actually eat it in the afternoon and evenings in moderation.  Plus I feel like a kick ass mom when I am feeding locally grown fruit to my little miss.

Showers.  I seriously think I could sit or stand in the shower all day right now.  I am showering about two times per day now.  Sometimes more depending on how sweaty I have gotten while I was walking from the living room to the kitchen.  Not joking…

M.  I like him a lot right now.  He is trying to be supportive of me and he has been grilling every single day for me which means I am not having to cook and I am not making the kitchen a huge mess.  Plus, he is for the most part being very nice and letting me take a lot of rests.  I feel like he is the only person I can be 100% honest with right now, so he is hearing a lot of gross stuff and a lot of complaining.  And he’s still here…  I’m a lucky lady.

38 Weeks

Yep, still pregnant.  I’m starting to resign myself to the fact that I will probably be going in on the 17th for induction.  I will try to keep hope alive and remind myself that he could decide to come on his own in the next week.  I am mostly working from home this week, so that’s nice at least.  I plan on staying in basketball shorts and tank tops for the duration.  It is ridiculously hot here right now.  Like way out of season hot so I am kind of miserable.

I am still having contractions, so hopefully they are doing something.  I did as much walking as I could but with the heat, there aren’t really many options of places I can walk and stay cool.  We don’t have an indoor mall or anything like that so I don’t really have anywhere to go.  The other natural induction options aren’t really things I want to try, other than maybe using my breast pump.  I feel way too tired and gross to try to have sex, but maybe that will change.

How far along? 38 weeks 2 days (Feels like a million weeks and a million days)
Total weight gain: 31 lbs.  I’m worried about my appointment tomorrow because I can feel myself taking on water weight.  My hands and feet are swollen and puffy.  The heat is not helping.
Maternity clothes? Yes.  I am mostly in shorts and tank tops now though.  When I have to go out, I have two shirts that still cover all of the bump.
Stretch marks? I have a few that have popped up along my inner thigh.  They are no where near as bad as last time.  Still none on my stomach, so that’s good.
Sleep: I am really only sleeping about an hour at a time.  I have to pee all the time and I just plain hurt when I am laying down so it’s getting pretty awful.  Plus it is so freaking hot...
Best moment this week: Last week it was finding out that everything is fine with Tate’s kidneys.  I swear I am never going to have another ultrasound done in this hospital for anything.  I’ll go straight to the better doctors.
Miss Anything? I honestly miss being able to move around.  Being agile is something I really took for granted.  I am really excited about being able to bend over and being able to go up the stairs without feeling like I am dying.
Movement: He is slower thats for sure.  The movements are much more like rolls and him slowly sticking his feet out of one side of the bump.  I could actually feel him practice breathing this past week and that was pretty awesome.
Food cravings: I want all sweets.  Especially cake.  And cereal.  I really want frozen yogurt too.
Anything making you queasy or sick: I’m getting wicked heartburn from just about everything because I am so squished inside.  I can’t really lay down for very long because it makes me really sick.
Have you started to show yet? Yes
Gender: BOY!
Labor Signs: Contractions, losing bits of plug, little man is very low.  Lots of pressure and some pain in my lady bits.
Symptoms: Stuffy nose contractions, cramping, etc.
Belly Button in or out? Out.  It is actually more pronounced than it ever has been.
Wedding rings on or off?  Off 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Definitely moody.  I am so tired and huge and just plain uncomfortable.  Plus I am getting very anxious about labor in general right now.  I don’t feel prepared, even though I know I can’t really prepare for it.  I know I’ve done this before, so that makes me feel better but the induction really scares me. 
Looking forward to: Honestly I am really ready for Tate to be here.  I am looking forward to not being pregnant anymore.

Help Me Help Me

Ok guys, I am getting to the point where I want to start trying to induce but I know in my head that I need to be patient.  I am uncomfortable, anxious, and just feeling kind of done.  I tested positive for Strep B again, so no sweep for me, which is a little disappointing, but whatever.  I am going to try walking, bouncing, dancing, maybe SEX (yikes, tmi) and maybe swimming.  Only a maybe on the swimming because I have a serious aversion to public pools.

I need encouragement.  I need you guys to remind me that there are only 13 days left until induction and that is really not that long.  I am of course hoping that he comes on his own sooner rather than being induced, but I am not going to hold out hope on that one.  I am just getting so tired of the waiting and my impatience is at its peak right now.

Tell me what you did the last few days of your pregnancy to pass the time.  I want to try to spend a lot of time with Arlie, but she is a handful right now so I am not sure how much quality time we will really get.  I don’t need to cook/prep anything because I have already done that.  I am seriously considering binge watching television shows, but even that probably won’t take up too much time. I am down to half time at work and that means that I have a lot of afternoons where I have a whole lot of nothing to do.  I know I should relax and take it easy and enjoy my last few days as a mom to only one child, but I HATE being bored.

Help me help me you guys!

37 Weeks

I’m a little surprised I am even writing this to be completely honest…  I just had this feeling that he was going to be here this weekend, but alas, I am still very pregnant.  All signs right now are pointing to him coming early though.  I am crampy, lots of contractions, exhausted, and I am fairly certain if this kid were any lower in my pelvis, he would actually be coming out of me.  I sent a photo to my sister last night of my belly and she was surprised at how incredibly low he sitting.  I am hoping that all of these things combined mean that he will be here soon.  Like soon soon…

At my appointment on Friday my doctor said she really wanted him to stay in there for another week or week and a half, and I get this, but holy hell, I want to be done being pregnant now.  I had a complete breakdown on Saturday night because every time I look at Arlie and she is all happy, it makes me want to cry because her world is going to change so much.  Plus, I feel like I might be the only person in my life who is concerned about her transition.  Really, my main concern is that she is so happy right now.  She is so filled with joy that it makes me feel terrible that there may be any amount of hurt or worry within her.  Its hard to explain.  I guess I would like to be able to protect her from anything that may upset her and I know that in this case, I literally have no control whatsoever.

On another fun note, my blood sugar levels have been all over the place.  I am apparently NOT one of the lucky ladies whose sugars level out at 36 weeks.  I am instead one of the unfortunate ladies whose numbers increase and get harder to control.  I had to increase my meds again, which resulted in a super terrifying low in the early evening on Saturday.  I had to eat a crap ton of food to get my numbers back to normal.  I’ve had other lows before but this was reeeeaaallly low so it was particularly scary.  I just keep telling myself that it is only a few more days (crossing my fingers) or weeks of this and then it will be gone.

How far along? 37 weeks 2 days
Total weight gain: 29 lbs.  I am still fluctuating back and forth between 28 and 30 lbs.  But I actually feel really good about this number.  It makes me proud that I was able to gain so much less than last time.
Maternity clothes? Yes.  I have one dress that I would like to wear everyday because it is so comfortable.  I kind of look like a giant whale in it but comfort outweighs beauty in all aspects now.
Stretch marks? I have a few on my thighs, but they are small and I know that they will fade.  Still none on my stomach.
Sleep: So I am falling asleep a little easier now but I literally pee about 50 times a night so I am constantly waking up for that.  It is getting old.
Best moment this week: Not sure.  Lots of good things are happening.  Maybe knowing I am very close to the end of this…
Miss Anything? Cereal.  Being able to have as much milk as I want, whenever I want.  Being able to put shoes on.  Being able to get off of the toilet without risking personal injury.
Movement: He is still moving around in there.  The movements are getting more and more thai chi like, which is kind of disconcerting, but I have to remind myself that this is normal.  I like that I have the nst’s so often because it helps my anxiety a bit.  At Friday’s nst, he did a movement so big that it was off the charts.  That was pretty entertaining.
Food cravings: Cereal and milk, chocolate cake, ice cold beer, bread and butter.  Probably a million other things.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Water, laying on my back, the ridiculous heart burn I am having.  Water is actually causing wicked heart burn, which is awful.
Have you started to show yet? Hahahahaha.  Yes.
Gender: BOY!
Labor Signs: Lots of legit contractions, cramping, sharp twinges in my lady bits.  I am also having more frequent bowel movements (I bet you were all waiting to hear about this!) and I am losing small bits of my mucous plug as well.  The end of pregnancy is kind of disgusting.
Symptoms: Braxton hicks, stuffy nose, swelling.  Complete and total exhaustion.
Belly Button in or out? Out.
Wedding rings on or off? Off.
Happy or Moody most of the time:  Relatively happy.  I find myself having little to no patience with M, which I remember well from last time.  He just doesn’t move fast enough.  Or respond fast enough.  I just want him to understand how exhausting this last part is.
Looking forward to:  Another appointment tomorrow and my final growth ultrasound.  I am curious to see how big he is getting.  Plus, I really like seeing his little face.  And his hands and feets.  So cute.

I really hope that this is the last update I do.  I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I sure would like to have him sooner rather than later.  I’m ready, I’m fairly certain he is ready.  Lets get this show on the road….

One last note… Today was the original due date for our first little baby.  I am definitely not as focused on this as I was in the last two years, but I still remember.  I will always remember.