The Transition From One to Two

It was so fun getting prepared for Arlie.  We spent a lot of time picking out clothes and furniture and all kinds of baby gear.  This is a different experience.  Not to say its not fun because it is, but it is also moving faster and we have less to buy.  I don’t have as much free time as I did with Arlie to sit and wonder what it was going to be like.  Or to worry, as the case may be.

I’m still excited.  I’m still taking the moments I can to talk to bubs and bond with him.  I’m sorting through clothes and looking up any products I wished I had with Arlie.  But most of my time is spent running after Arlie and making sure she has what she needs.  I read an article a few weeks ago about how to transition from one to two.  There was one piece of advice that really stuck with me and that was to tend to the older child first (unless a dire situation is at hand) because the newborn won’t know the difference if they have to wait an extra minute, but the older child most definitely will know.  This made perfect sense to me and it is probably something I will turn to frequently for the first few months after Tate is born.

I’m nervous about the transition.  I want to be a good mom to both of them and I am really worried about how this will impact Arlie.  She is way too young to understand what is happening and I hate that it will be hard for her at first.  I am excited about having two, but the impact on our lives will be significant and preparing myself (and Arlie) for this is intimidating and worrisome.

The thing that is weighing most heavily on my mind is that Arlie will have to be away from me and M overnight for the first time in her life when Tate is born.  That seriously makes me want to cry thinking about it.  I am hoping that the birth is as easy as it was the first time and that I can send M home to stay with Arlie.  I think the thing that worries me the most about it is if I go into labor in the middle of the night, we will have to take her to my parent’s house and it will be disconcerting for her.  Plus, the fact that the next time I see her, I will be a mom of two.  I struggle with the right way to make the transition easy on her.  I struggle with the fact that I know I am going to love and adore this little man and that it may take away from my time with Arlie.  These are the things that don’t really come up when you are first pregnant because it is so exciting that there will be a baby here in the near future.

Help me out guys…. If you have experience with going from one child to two, tell me how it went and what you did to make it a little easier on yourself, or what you would have done differently.

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23 Weeks

This week was kind of long and crazy.  Our babysitter is moving to the town right next to us (the town I live in and this town are about 2 miles apart) so our schedule has been a little off and will continue to be off until the end of March.  Not really looking forward to the craziness, but the new schedule will be really nice.  I will have Monday lunchtime ALL TO MYSELF.  I have not been able to go to lunch with my friends since before Arlie was born, so this is pretty exciting.  I am going to miss the crap out of her on Mondays, but I can also make it my early day each week, which means that I can get home earlier to hang out with her.

M and I are making a big step in the coming weeks/months.  We are going to either finish the process of purchasing the house we are in (leasing to own currently) or we are going to purchase a new house.  This is both terrifying and exhilarating.  I am excited about looking at houses and I am excited to officially become home owners.  We have been in the suspended state for the past few years in our current situation and it has worked well but it is always in the back of my mind that we don’t truly “own” the home that we are in.  I just want that security.  For me, it is the last step in really becoming grownups.

How far along? 23 weeks 2 days (I was wrong and my change day is actually Saturday, not Sunday like I thought)
Total weight gain: Almost 20 lbs.  I can see it in my face and my thighs and my butt.  I am not pleased.
Maternity clothes? All the time.  I am still on occasion wearing a regular shirt, but for the most part it is all maternity.
Stretch marks? None.
Sleep: Its been pretty good.  I am still waking up multiple times every night, but I fall asleep quickly so that’s nice.  I am also waking up really early every morning.  This is mostly annoying because Arlie is sleeping later than me and that is just wrong.
Best moment this week: Looking at new houses.  Its just really fun.  And M finally felt Tate move.  This probably could have happened earlier but M has no patience.
Miss Anything? Not really.  I am starting to have a hard time lifting some things and that is kind of annoying.
Movement: Quite a bit.  He gives me reassuring kicks, punches and nudges throughout the day.
Food cravings: None really.  I want ice cream but I am fairly certain that this is not really a craving but more of a normal thing for me.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.  I can smell EVERYTHING right now so that sometimes makes it hard, but nothing is really on my “no” list right now.
Have you started to show yet? Yes, I sent a photo to my sister this weekend because I am roughly the same size now as I was when I was 25-28 weeks with Arlie.  Its a totally different shape and location though, which is very strange.
Gender: BOY
Labor Signs: None.
Symptoms: Baby bump, snotty nose, back ache, swelling, movement.
Belly Button in or out? Half in, half out.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Mostly happy.  I have been getting annoyed more easily but it really has more to do with being tired rather than being pregnant.
Looking forward to: The ladies from my work are throwing me and another girl a baby shower on Thursday.  I actually asked for them not to throw me a shower because I feel really weird about having a shower for a second baby, but they were insistent.  Plus, when I was pregnant with Arlie I had only been working here for about two months before I had her and nobody really knew me then.  This is apparently their “make-up” shower for me, which is still weird.  I am very appreciative and I am looking forward to it.  I was really careful to only put real necessities on the registry because we really do have most of what we need already.

Why So Low?

I can’t even begin to describe how low this little man hangs out in my pelvis.  It is killing me.  I am very uncomfortable when I am standing up because he just lays as low as possible in there and it is painful.  It feels like someone has filled the lower half of my uterus with rocks.  Most of his movements are low too, so there are a lot of bladder and cervix kicks and punches.  I actually was really surprised yesterday when he kicked me above my belly button.

I still have the days where fear is my primary emotion.  This seems to happen the day after each of my appointments.  I go into the appointment feeling fine and I leave it feeling fine, but the next day I am usually hit with a symptom that is weird or uncomfortable and that automatically sends me into a bit of a fear situation.  Even now…  I went to my appointment on Monday, everything was good.  Yesterday I start feeling a lot more pelvic pressure (not pain, no cramping, nothing else concerning) and I freak out.  I know that this is normal.  He is getting bigger and I like I said above, he prefers to hang out really low and that is so different from Arlie.  I don’t remember being this uncomfortable with her for at least another 10 weeks or so.  Its so hard to just let go of the worrying and relax a little.

I think getting to 24 weeks will help and I am sooo close to this milestone.  I know that it really isn’t a giant improvement as far as fatality goes, but just knowing that medical interventions will be performed is very reassuring.  I really need to stop worrying and just enjoy the rest of this pregnancy because the likelihood is very high that this will be the last time I experience this.  I need to remind myself that each and every ache and pain is for a reason and soon it will be over and I will miss being pregnant.  Mentally, this sucks, but physically I am doing ok, other than the crazy pelvic pressure.

I can’t stop thinking about labor too.  I am pumped to do it again (even though I have not really forgotten the pain part).  I can’t wait to meet him and I can’t wait to go through the process of having him appear into this world.  I am really excited about this part.  I keep having to remind myself to slow down in this area and not pack a bag yet.  I just feel so ready to start that phase of the pregnancy, but I know I need to wait.  It is just so exciting to get to that point and I am anxiously awaiting it.  Call me crazy, but I really think that labor was the best part of pregnancy.  The accomplishment alone was amazing.  Plus, you get an awesome little result….

And His Name Will Be….

I wore M down last week and told him I wanted to finalize our choice.  He agreed and after thinking about it a lot on Friday (and writing about it), I came home from work with a definitive choice in my mind…

And so, this little guy will be named Tate Matthew.  I feel really good about this choice.  It feels right to me and M agreed that it was the right name.  I like being able to say it in my head and I like being able to call him by a name.  And I think that Tate goes well with Arlie and our last name.  Honestly, I also looked it up on urban dictionary (BTW, this site is hilarious and so fun to look names up on) and the first description was so funny that it solidified my decision.  I also looked it up on nameberry (which I also love) and Tate means “cheerful”, which I LOVE.  I think that is really cute.

I don’t think that he will run into too many other Tates along his way and that is nice too.  My requirements were that the name be short and easy to say and not have a foufy nickname to it.  This fits the bill.  Plus, my hope is that our little guy likes to play sports and I needed to find a name that we could yell from the stands.  Silly, I know.

We told my sister first and she liked it (or she responded that she liked it…) and then last night we told our parents.  My dad was nice and said he liked it and my mother had a snotty comment that makes me laugh now because I just don’t care what she thinks.  I am happy with our choice and I am so excited to meet this little guy.  Tate. 🙂

22 Weeks

One more week down…  18 weeks left.  I think the best part about getting past 20 weeks is that the number of weeks remaining is less than the number of weeks you currently are.  It still seems kind of far away and I would like to speed this up.  I had another doctor’s appointment this morning and everything is looking good.  This is one of my favorite doctor’s there and she was so sweet this morning.  The first thing she said to me was that she hadn’t seen me for almost a year and that she was excited this morning when she saw I was on her schedule.  She went over the ultrasound results with me and said that everything is perfectly normal.  Even though I already knew this from reading my chart, it was still really nice to hear it from her.  So I am now on a “regular” schedule for my appointments.  I go back in a month, then I have my glucose test at 28 weeks and after that I am on every other week appointments until 34 or 35 weeks, when I switch over to weekly.  Again, it seems like it is forever away, but the reality is that it is going to go quickly.

We are slowly working on getting all the necessities for new baby.  He needs a few large items still (crib to sidecar to my bed, double stroller) but otherwise we are pretty much just needing smaller things.  Clothes, blankets, diaper supplies, etc.  I am researching diaper bags.  I don’t actually need one for myself, but I need another bag for him to take to the babysitters and to my mom’s house.  I may just get him a tote because there really isn’t a need for all those pockets and stuff.  Decisions, decisions….

How far along? 22 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain: I am right at 18 lbs.  I am going to be HUGE by the end of this….
Maternity clothes? Yes.  I bought a long maxi style dress yesterday because I have a couple of weddings next month and I literally have nothing to wear.  The dress is stretchy enough that I will still fit into it and I can run around in it without feeling restricted.  Plus, its pretty cute.
Stretch marks? No.  I really hope that this will not happen this time around.
Sleep: OMG, AWFUL.  I am so effing tired all the time.  I usually fall asleep pretty easily, but I wake up at least 5 times a night to pee.  Plus, there is almost always an hour or so in the middle of the night where I stare at the ceiling.  My hips are starting to hurt and that is kind of annoying.  Only a little while longer.
Best moment this week: Hearing confirmation that baby is good.  And picking out baby’s name… Look for a post on this in the next day or so…
Miss Anything? Not really.  I long to have my skinny face again.  I honestly thought I would miss booze more than this, but i just don’t.  I would be content to never drink again.  Maybe.
Movement: Lots lately.  He moves around quite a bit.  I especially like that late in the evening, he does a lot of good kicks and rolls.
Food cravings: I am not really craving anything in particular.  I still want protein, but I am not stuck on one specific thing.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really.  The only thing that is making me sick is lying on my back for too long.  That is an automatic nausea inducer.
Have you started to show yet? Yes.  Honestly, it is kind of huge.  I don’t know how many of you have experienced this, but when I look down, the bump doesn’t look that big, but if I am in front of a mirror, it is gigantic.  The perspective is very different from above.
Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: None.
Symptoms: Dizzy, heart palpitations, snotty nose, weight gain, baby bump.  This last week was rough….
Belly Button in or out? Halfsie.  Arlie is fascinated with my belly button.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy.  I am just getting through each day. But I am relatively happy.
Looking forward to: I have a couple weeks of a break from events, so that is nice.  I am also looking forward to getting our tax refund back so we can start buying some stuff for this little guy.

The Name Game, Part 2

Oh man, choosing a name for this little guy is a process.  It’s not going well.  I have a very strong feeling about a few names and I thought we had narrowed it down to two or three, but that list has been modified a million times and now we are batting around two names that weren’t even on our original list.

The real problem we are running into is that M and I are both in love with Arlie’s name.  It fits her and it is perfect.  We are not having the same *ding* moment we had with choosing Arlie’s name.  And now, trying to find even one name that we both agree on and gives us a good feeling is seeming impossible.

What seems to be happening a lot now is that I will find a name I really like (maybe even love) and I will present it to M and he will immediately shoot it down.  And the same is happening with names that he is finding and presenting to me.  It is causing a lot of stress for us right now, which is annoying.  I want new baby (which is what I have been referring to him as) to have a name sooner rather than later because it really helps me feel more secure and bond with him better.  For M, this is way less urgent and that is very frustrating to me.

So, I’ve decided to post a few of our top runners here and you guys can give me some feedback.  And for the record, the names I really wanted but I have not gotten approval from M on are Hudson (love, love, love this name and I am hoping I can talk him into this…), Merritt (my favorite Swiss baby boy name), Linus, Aldo, and Sullivan (Sulley).  M’s top runner was Elias and I just am not sure about this one, so it has been put aside for now….

For the picks right now that we are debating: Cade, Tate (I love this name so much), and Cason.  The only one here that I am really in love with is Tate, which actually would have been Arlie’s name had she been a boy.  Cade is ok for me and I like how short it is, but it isn’t really “the one” for me.  Cason is not my favorite, but M likes it a lot.  M brought this one up because it is close to Mason, which is my favorite boy name of all time, but I just don’t like how it sounds.  I’ve been rolling Elias around in my head the last few days and I am starting to like it a little more.  There is a huge part of me that wants to say yes to Elias because M likes it so much, but I am just not sure about it.

Ideally, I would like to have a name picked out by Sunday, but I am really doubting that this will happen.  Ugh, if this baby had been a girl, we would already have a name for her.  Boy names are HARD…

The Big Ultrasound

So, I already wrote about the ultrasound a little on my last posts, but I wanted to hash it out a little more.

I was terrified.  To the point where I was shaking when we finally got in there.  The tech was running late and because I have a tiny tank and I was so nervous, I had peed about 30 times in the hour prior to the ultrasound.  When she came out to get us, she said she was a student and that she would do the initial ultrasound and then the actual tech would come in a go over anything else that she needed.  I was honestly fine with this because I was too nervous to even care.  She started the scan and baby was laying in a much better position than Arlie ever was on any of the scans I got with her.  He was moving around but not a ton, so that was nice.  She started with basic stuff, leg bones, etc.  When she moved onto the cord, M and I were both holding our breath.  When she said that the cord was normal with three vessels, we both audibly sighed.  I also cried a little at that point because I was so relieved.  She then checked where the cord inserted and that was normal too, which brought on another sigh and a bout of tears.  After that she did a bunch of stomach measurements, head measurements, brain views, spine views, etc.  She spent about ten minutes looking at baby’s heart and trying to get a good picture of it.  When she was doing the brain views, I was memorizing the numbers she was getting so I could look them up afterwards.

Once she was pretty much done, another tech came in to get some additional pictures or to request that the student get a couple different pictures of stuff.  The regular tech then checked for gender for us.  That took a little bit of time because baby was not willing to spread his legs and she kept going back and forth until she saw what she thought were boy parts.  It wasn’t very convincing, so she looked quickly at the head again to try to get us a profile picture.  When she went back to the gender area, it was VERY clear that this is a boy.

It wrapped up very quickly after that and we got out of there.  I was fine with the scan.  I don’t think it was the best idea to have a student doing a scan for a seriously anxious person, but in our case it was fine.  Plus, she was very talkative which was nice because she kept telling us that everything was normal as she went along.  I had to pee (again) immediately after we got out so I (like a crazy person) remembered the numbers she had displayed for the brain measurements and looked them up on my phone and was CRAZY relieved to see that they were all perfectly normal.  I cried in the restroom for a minute, then went outside to meet M.

Overall, it was a really positive experience.  I was so nervous and not excited about it and that made it really hard for me.  But having everything turn out fine was such an incredible relief.  I could tell that M was also really relieved and that was nice.  He is also really happy about this being a boy, which is pretty adorable.  My doctor also called in the evening after the scan to let me know that everything was normal.  That was nice and it made me feel better that they are following up with my requests.  I also got the full report in my charts the next day (an online website that has all my medical records view able for me) and it was kind of interesting and fun to read through it.

I’m glad it’s over and I am so glad that everything was normal and fine.  So much fear going into it and so much happiness going out of it.  I can’t wait until June to meet this little man.

21 Weeks

We had the big ultrasound on Wednesday last week and this little bubs is a BOY.  I was definitely expecting it to be a boy, but I was still kinda hoping for a girl.  I am not exactly sure why I wanted another girl…  Maybe because I know what I am doing with a girl and a boy seemed scary.  Anyway, I am super excited now and getting really nervous/excited to meet him.  We did a little shopping this weekend for him and that made this a little more real for me.  I honestly can’t decide how I want to dress him.  I knew right away with Arlie that I didn’t want her in a bunch of girly stuff so her clothing generally consists of shirts and pants and noooo dresses.  I love her in a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt (so stinking cute).  But with a boy I feel like there are so many fewer options of how to dress them.  M and I both decided that the onesies with sayings on them are out.  Just not our style at all.  I don’t mind animals for the most part, but I am not really into dinosaurs or sea creatures.  Or monsters.  Basically I want to dress him pretty much exactly the same way I dress Arlie but with way less pink. 🙂

Onto the name issue…  I said in my last post that we had it narrowed down to two names but after talking about it a lot over the weekend, we are kind of at a loss and the list has exploded to 6 names.  We know for sure that the middle name will start with an M and our last name starts with an M, so the actual name needs to flow with that.  I may have to do a what should we name him post pretty soon here and you guys can let me know what you think.

Lastly, my due date has been officially updated to June 20th, so I am officially 21 weeks as of yesterday.  I will start trying to do my updates on Mondays.  The really cool part about this is that my due date with Arlie was January 20th, so they may end up with very close birthday dates (June and January).

How far along? 21 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain: No idea yet, but I can imagine it is a lot.  I don’t even know why I am gaining so fast this time.  Boo….
Maternity Clothes? Yes, I can’t fit into any of my regular jeans anymore and most of my shirts are getting a little short in the front.  I am also getting to the point where I need slip on shoes because bending over is uncomfortable and difficult.
Stretch marks? Nope.  None on my legs yet and non on my stomach.  I’m hoping it stays that way.
Sleep: I go back and forth with crappy one night and pretty good one night.  I am still waking up about once a night and most nights during that time I am awake for at least an hour.
Best moment this week: Finding out that we are having a boy and that everything was perfect and NORMAL!
Miss Anything? Sleep.  And sushi.
Movement: Yes.  He is actually on a pattern now, which is nice.  Active in the very early morning and later at night.  He also usually gives me some good kicks around 9 am.
Food cravings: Sushi.  I also want salads with all kinds of toppings.  I’m loving bubbly water with a little bit of orange juice added.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really.
Have you started to show yet? Yes, I have a nice round mid size bump.
Gender: BOY!
Labor Signs: Nope!
Symptoms: Still a stuffy nose.  I am also getting some round ligament pain when I move around.  Otherwise, not so many symptoms.
Belly Button in or out? It is still half in and half out.  
Wedding rings on or off? 
On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy.  But I do find myself getting annoyed pretty easily.  I just think my tolerance is shrinking.  But I feel happy.
Looking forward to: Doing some shopping and organizing for this little guy.  Plus, a friend of mine is pregnant right now with a girl and she had a son a few years ago so we are swapping clothes and I am so excited about this!  I love being able to give Arlie’s clothes a good home and it makes me less weepy knowing that my friend’s little girl will have a sweet wardrobe!

It’s a…

Boy!!!

Everything looked perfect. No cord issues and no other abnormalities. My doctor called this evening and confirmed that everything looked normal and that “I have nothing to worry about.”

It took the ultrasound tech two tries to find out gender but eventually we got a pretty good shot o f the goods. so far, I’m kind of in shock, but I’m pretty excited too. I wanted another girl but I am very happy to have a boy. Arlie is going to be a spectacular big sister.

Names are narrowed down to two options. One very normal and kind of popular and one Swiss name that I am in love with. I hope to have a decision in the next few days.

Thanks for all the good thoughts. It was incredibly comforting that you were hoping for me. Thanks guys!!